When the universe doesn’t deliver…
No doubt you’ve sung along to the Rolling Stones song, “You can’t always get what you want”?
Can be pretty hard to swallow at times - particularly when you think what you want is what you need…
If you’ve been following closely along, you know as soon as I made the decision to step back from my startup wine business, a very clear vision emerged about what I wanted in my future: to live on the water, to paint for a living, and to empower others with my story.
Within two days of coming to that realisation and acknowledging it to my business partner, a door open.
I’d seen a beautiful, architecturally interesting home on the water. It was light, airy and spacious… and unbelievably, it had an artist’s studio overlooking the water.
It was fate! So clearly I knew that I found myself heading the next day for an inspection - even though
a) I wasn’t looking to move,
b) it was out of budget if I was; and
c) I haven’t said a word about any of this to my husband
But I’ve had enough divine idiosyncrasies (like meeting my husband and buying my current home) to know the importance of following the messages I receive. So the next day I head down to see the house.
A 1960s weatherboard, the home has beautiful light and energy throughout - but as I walk slowly through, I’m disappointed to note that as beautiful as it is - it’s not the home for me to move my family into.
I explained as much to the real estate agent on my departure; but upon waking the next morning, it was crystal clear - this home wasn’t for me to live in, but run a business from. It would be an amazing space to run a boutique wellness retreats and workshops and paint from.
Now - this idea wasn’t new to me. It had been percolating quietly in the background and in my heart for a few years; but I had chosen to ignore it - thinking, ‘too hard’ and ‘where would I start’?
But here was where I could start. This home had everything I needed – a beautiful outlook to the water, sufficient bedroom configurations to create a lux, retreat experience. Beautiful rooms to connect and commune in, plus unbelievably a space overlooking the ocean for both Yoga/meditation and Painting. The ideas poured fourth from me – I could see community building, writers and artist retreats, a place for me to paint from that was only 15 minutes from my home so that I could“go to work” each day. I felt for the first time like this home would allow me to become ‘a real artist’. That by investing in this home, I was investing in the future that I wanted for myself.
I believe that when things right - and meant to be - they happen with flow and ease.
I had said several times to both my business mentor and husband that if there wasn’t ease, then I would know this house was not meant for me.
(Now, you should note that while I said this… deep down, I knew, THIS HOUSE WAS MINE. No question - this was my future.)
But as it turned out - the process was anything but ease. It was stressful and challenging. My husband was supportive, but hesitant. The mortgage was ‘pretty much pre-approved’ - and then not. Despite being the initial highest bidder in mid November, the process lingered on for an agonising 2 weeks past the expressions of interest closing as we inched our way towards a purchase. I was still confident it was meant to be…
But then I missed out. Someone else got the house… and I was DEVASTATED.
Of course I was disappointed about missing out on the house itself, but more so - I felt like this idea that had poured forth from my heart had been snuffed out like a light. I felt like the idea could not live separate from that home and I was crushed.
I allowed myself to wallow in despair for a day or so, and decided - it was what it was - and I had to get on with it.
As a kick in the guts, I opened the realestate website - knowing there wasn’t anything as perfect as what I’d just missed out on. To my surprise, I found a set of 5 units being sold all together. Immediately my mind went to figuring out how I could knock down walls to connect them all together to create my retreat and community space idea. And that’s when I realised, the idea wasn’t dead at all… It was still very much alive and breathing and wanting to be fulfilled.
A quick inspection proved the units weren’t an option, but my take away was the realisation this retreat & painting space idea was still in my heart - it was just a matter of me, finding the right space to take the idea forward. And surrendering to the process.