When your dharma is at the cross roads…

Ann Marie Johnston - (then, running online yoga platform YogaMate / Yoga for Better Health & Global Yoga Therapy Day); and now,
Ann Marie Grace, artist, retreat owner/leader and advocate for whole-hearted living.

“Dharma is born mysteriously out of the intersection between The Gift and The Times... Each of us feels some aspect of the world’s suffering acutely… This little corner of the world is ours to transform’, Stephen Cope wisely reflects in his book, The Great Work of Your Life.

‘Do not worry about the outcome, success or failure are not your concern… your task is only to bring as much life force as you can muster to the execution of your dharma’, he goes on to say.

I discovered ‘The Great Work of Your Life’ while at Kripalu in 2018 – at a Symposium for Yoga Research. At the time, I felt fully in my dharma and that I had been following my dharma for many years.

I was focused on helping to inspire & empower individuals to move away from their own suffering through the yogic tools of awareness, breath, stillness, movement and meditation; and I was supporting an international community of individuals (yoga therapists) to do the same.

My businesses showcased how yoga can be therapeutically applied to help address various life / health challenges and it was my belief that this was important work to be doing in the world.

I came into this space because I was disillusioned by the way yoga is mainly portrayed in the west. Having come to yoga through breath, meditation and a personal home practice and having experienced my own profound shifts in health and wellbeing through my personal practice, it made perfect sense in my mind, to support yoga therapists, who were also working to help end suffering and empower individuals through the therapeutic application of yoga.

Whilst I was welcomed by the majority in the yoga therapy community; I was also the recipient of scepticism and backlash by some; ‘why would I want to support the community when I wasn’t a yoga therapist myself’ and ‘you’re just in it for the money’ 🙄

Mind you, I wasn’t making any money from following this dharma. In-fact until closing my business in 2022, I did not pay myself a single dollar; and when I finally did close down my business, the income I received was less than a third of my first year investment in the business. Not exactly a roaring success if financial wealth is your metric of success.

But despite the lack of financial success, I had always felt like I was making a difference and that my efforts had purpose. I knew I was in a privileged financial position where I could put all revenue back into the business; so I felt good about the way I was using my gifts in the world… until I didn’t.

When Your Dharma Dries Up

4 years in, I conceived the idea of creating the Global Yoga Therapy Day. Establishing a day where yoga therapists could unite together to create more impact seemed welcomed by the community – and with the support of many volunteers and verbal backing by the IAYT, I set to work in my efforts to support the community in this novel way.

In May of 2019, I flew to Amsterdam from Australia to meet some 40-50 leaders in the field of Yoga Therapy; in hopes of gaining their support in creating a unified effort for yoga therapists around the world.

It turned out to be the most challenging moment of my professional career.

During the meeting, after presenting my idea for the Global Yoga Therapy Day, one gal from New York publicly called me out in front of everyone there, and chided, “Why are you even at this meeting? You aren’t even a yoga therapist. You’re just a business trying to make money”.

Taken by surprise, I explained I wasn’t making any money off of hosting this effort/event – and that – indeed, I’d not take a dime off my business to date. Two others chimed in response, questioning how I could afford to support myself if my business wasn’t paying for it. (As if it was their right to know my personal business).

I was lucky enough to have a few individuals at the meeting who knew my heart and integrity, who stood up in my support; but I left the meeting feeling totally shaken. To have had my integrity publicly called into question in such a humiliating way when I had come with so much hope in making a difference – I was left questioning whether to continue my efforts.

After some deep soul searching, I did decide to continue on (indeed, I went on to host a further two Global Yoga Therapy Days…) but in the background, the bedrock was shaken and as time passed, it became clear that I was putting all of my love and energy into efforts that weren’t necessarily giving back the energy to sustain me.

When the third GYTD came around in August 2021, I had just suffered through the world’s longest lock down (some 265 days locked down in Melbourne, Australia) where I was juggling full time single motherhood with two young school children and trying to host a global event. I was burnt out and depleted.

With reflection and careful attunement to my energy and my heart, I realised it was time for me to step in a new direction and in early ‘22, I encouraged the IAYT to take ownership of the Global Yoga Therapy Day. (And for anyone wondering, there was no financial gain to me in the change of ownership; conversely, I pledged to financially support the IAYT for a further 3 years in order for the GYTD to live on.)

I quietly closed down my business and shifted my attention to replenishing my energy.

I always intended to send a newsletter, explaining my decisions and what happened to me and YogaMate / Yoga for Better Health - how I was burned out and depleted; how my confidence in this dharma had dried up – but it never felt the right time… until now.

Listening to your heart

I’ve used these past two years to listen in to my heart.

I re-married in July of ’22 to a beautiful man and adjusted to life of 6 and step mother to two teenage daughters; and for some time, I wanted nothing to do with yoga.

When a friend asked me to pursue a new entrepreneurial challenge in the wine industry – where my heart & career had been before starting YogaMate, I agreed… even though a quiet whispering in my heart was urging me down another path.

Unsurprisingly, I soon discovered my heart was no longer in the wine space like it had once been, and towards the end of last year, I took time to get still & again intently listen to what my heart was calling me to do.

When I was still enough to listen - I could hear it whispering - slow down, reflect, paint, do yoga and play golf.

In that moment, I could have chosen to keep working on the wine business. There were options to explore. But my heart wasn’t there.

I realised that I’ve spent the majority of my life pursuing what I believed I ‘should’ be doing rather than what my heart has been asking of me. And while paint, meditate, do yoga and play didn’t exactly sound like a business plan, I chose to listen.

Like magic - within a day of delivering the news to my wine business partner, synchronicities began to occur.

In recent months, I have revisited my definition of success; revisited my values and my Ikigai, and together with my supportive husband, Steve, I have renovated our holiday home with an artists studio and yoga/meditation space in it so that I can run retreats for women helping them connect back to their own hearts and purposes.

Then, last month I went through the life-changing Hoffman Process - which will probably be the most meaningful work of my life (which by the by, has an incredible way of experientially understanding the koshas - though they don’t use that terminology).

These days I’m painting and drawing again - intentionally… both for my own enjoyment; but I’m also selling my artwork (originals, prints and commissions).

I’ve also started putting together the framework for a book that has been asking for my attention a couple of years now… and this month I’m launching Heart-Full Connections - online and offline events to connect with other whole-hearted individuals seeking authentic connection and living purposefully towards their hearts.

So - that’s where my dharma is leading me today.


How about you? Are you living out your dharma? Or are you at a crossroads like I was where your dharma has dried up and a new vision is asking to emerge?

As I recently recounted on this podcast, Breaking Free with Grace, there is no right way to do life. Life is a journey… and it’s never too late to change direction. So, if you aren’t already living out your dharma, or your dharma has shifted from where you were, what is one step you can take in this moment to intentionally move towards the life you want?

PS - If you’re a past friend through yoga therapy, life in the US, or just a friend in Australia who I’ve lost touch with, I’d love to hear from you and learn more about what you’re up to! (And if you’re a stranger who’d like to connect; please do! You can reply here in comments, or connect with me through my Heart-Full Connections Facebook.

And please come join me live online for a Virtual Cuppa as we launch the Heart-Full Connection community online, Wednesday, June 26th 9am Melb time (Tues June 25, 7pm EST). Register here

* I’ve learned the very hard way that starting a tech business as a solopreneur when you’re not a tech person = recipe for disaster