Love Letter to my 17 Year Old Self
(And to my step-daughters; written from a 2025 perspective)
If there are just a few wise words that I can impart to help you navigate this life with a little more ease… please know this:
You are stronger and more beautiful than you’ll ever realize. And you are perfect, just as you are.
Don’t let the world tell you otherwise. Don’t listen when ‘they’ define what is beautiful – you are what is beautiful.
Our world has been built around making women feel small and weak and not enough.
I implore you – DON’T LISTEN.
You don’t need makeup to make you beautiful – you already are. You don’t need diets, or botox, or specific clothing, a specific hairstyle.
Express yourself. Wear and do what you want – but don’t do it at the expense of your beautiful body.
You are going to need her until your last breath – and you need to treat her with the love, honor and respect that she deserves.
Be mindful of what you consume.
Moderation is key, my beautiful girl.
That goes for everything you consume – from the foods and sugar you eat and drink, to anything else you ingest, inject or inhale. That includes the media you consume – from horror movies and trash magazines, to the ‘world’ news & social media.
We are sensitive souls and the impressions and imprints media leaves behind aren’t good for us.
Be mindful of what you consume.
Know that food is your medicine.
Sugar isn’t your friend. It’ll give you that quick dopamine hit but you’ll end up feeling addicted to it.
Addiction to anything doesn’t serve you.
Fill your mind instead with all the good and beauty that is in this world.
Literally stop and smell the roses.
Notice their beauty – their intricacy. They are perfect – just like you.
They don’t need anything to be beautiful, they just are. As are you.
Get a tattoo, if that’s what you really want.
But remember, you are already beautiful – so don’t get a tattoo if it’s for reasons of covering up who you are – or just to fit in with friends.
A tattoo is a lifelong choice – so choose wisely.
Is this something that you are going to want to see until your last breath? If so, get your tattoo.
Even if your parents say no.
Life is beautiful – and it is happening all around you.
Life isn’t what you see on your phone – everything that you see there has been highly curated to make you feel less than – that others have a beautiful more perfect life than yours.
It’s all lies.
Your phone is not meant to control your life.
The only life that is real is the one that is happening right now, in this moment.
BE HERE NOW.
47% of our time we are lost in thought. And when we are lost in thought it means that we are running on auto pilot… which means whatever the mind is serving up to you is running the show.
The brain was created to keep us safe. The brain runs on hypervigilance and fear – always scanning our environments to protect us.
When WE choose where to focus our attention – on the good in our life – on this moment – on our breath – on the sunrise in front of us – then we get to choose how we experience life – not the other way around.
Our THOUGHTS create our reality.
Everything that has ever existed and everything that will ever exist – started with a thought.
You have dreams you want to achieve in your life.
Small seeds of ideas that have started at your heart. Give them your time. Give them your imagination.
Imagine the most wildly, beautiful, daring and fearless life you can imagine.
Don’t listen to anyone else. Most of the world hasn’t caught up to this yet.
What you can hold in your imagination, and put your emotional belief behind – see it, feel it, hear it, experience how it’s going to be.
Do this every day… and the universe will conspire with you to bring it into being.
Connect into your heart for clear guidance – and then do this one thing – every day – and you will create a life beyond your wildest dreams.
There have been rules put in place in our society to try and contain you.
You’re allowed to actively choose which ones you’ll follow.
The church has taught us to look outside of ourselves for answers, but organized religion was set up to contain you.
By all means, have a connection to spirit / god / universe – whatever name you choose, but know, my dear one, that spirit is in you. It’s not out there in the churches or temples. It’s in the very heart of you. In your own temple.
You can connect with it at any time. It is waiting, silently – and sometimes not so – for you to recognize and connect in.
The more you do this, and follow its advice, the more ease and flow you will invite into your life.
The church will also suggest you need to be married to have sex.
Another lie made up to contain you.
Sex is a beautiful experience with yourself or with others. Get to know what pleasures you and know that masturbation and orgasm are not dirty words.
Our creator bestowed us the ability to enjoy every aspect of our lives.
Don’t listen if people try and tell you you’re bad for experiencing all that life has to offer. They are wrong, possibly jealous due to their own inhibitions and likely fearful because they have been taught to feel fear around sex.
You have full permission to enjoy EVERY aspect of your beautiful life.
Connect with people who will responsibly hold your heart in their hands…
…and don’t marry young.
Life is long and there is a lot of life to be experienced. There is no rush.
And no, you don’t have to be married to have sex.
Marriage can be beautiful — but it doesn’t have to be forever.
If the relationship is misaligned, negligent or harmful to you, you owe it to yourself to break free.
And if your growing together has stopped, again, you are allowed to part ways.
You get to choose, every single day:
Is this something that I want?
If it isn’t, find what you want.
That goes for your career, where you live, or any other myriad of things.
What you chose yesterday doesn’t have to be what you choose for today.
You are constantly growing and evolving.
You are allowed to change your mind at any time.
And always — your heart will be there.
Quietly urging you along.
Connect in to her and listen to her desires – and life will flow.
For she has all the answers.
She knows the right path for your soul.
When she speaks to you – it’s called your intuition – and she’s always there.
Our society has taught us to shut our intuition down.
I urge you to know yourself.
Connect in through meditation. There are so many ways to connect inward, there is no right way.
Choose what is right for you.
As you connect in with her, listen for her guidance.
It might be through images or songs that pop into your head.
Maybe you’ll feel a ‘knowing’ or a feeling in your gut.
You may feel your body shiver when you get confirmation of a message.
These are all signs of ‘hearing’ your intuition.
Listen closely – she is always there.
This is the divine in you.
Don’t pray to a god ‘out there’ – connect in with her every day – she is inside you just waiting.
Explore and learn.
There is so much to be learned beyond what you were taught in school.
Your body is made up of different layers…
You have your physical layer, energetic layer, intellectual layer, emotional layer and higher self.
Connect into them all!
Your physical body deserves your love and affection.
Be good to it. Tell it nice things.
I know the media tries to teach you otherwise, but you are perfect and your body deserves your love and affection.
The food, sleep, thoughts, movement you get and breaths you take all impact the physical & energetic layer of your being.
The breath is the most important of all of these. The breath is your super power.
At any point in time, you can use it to harness uncontrollable thoughts.
At any point in time you can use it to slow yourself down – let your body know that everything is okay… and come back into THIS moment.
For my dear, that is the only thing that will ever exist. THIS MOMENT.
If you remember nothing else from me. Remember THIS MOMENT. THIS BREATH.
Breathe with me.
Close your eyes to center yourself and not be distracted from all that is around you.
Bring your attention to your breath and:
Breathe in for the count of four
Hold your breath for the count of four
Breathe out for the count of six
Hold your breath for the count of two
This is one cycle.
There are a lot of fancy things you can do with your breath to work through different emotions, traumas and experiences.
Learn about them in time.
But hear me now: if you practice this one breath (4-4-6-2) every time you notice you are beginning to feel stress… Every time you are at a stop light, or waiting in line for a moment…
If you practice this breath consistently, you will begin to counteract the stress in the body – which will have a waterfall of benefits to your being.
Your breath – this breath with the longer exhalation – is your direct connection to your autonomic nervous system.
This breath will help your body switch from:
Fight/flight (sympathetic)
toRest & digest (parasympathetic) – which is where all of the healing happens.
Mark my word – and remember this above anything else – your breath is your superpower.
Harness your breath and you will harness your thoughts, harness your emotions and harness your life.
Don’t listen to your parents… or your teachers… or your friends for that matter.
Everyone will tell you what is important to them.
None of them have your soul.
None of them came into this life with your purpose imprinted on their heart.
Therefore, none of them can guide you to what is right FOR YOU.
ONLY YOU get to determine that.
And you might piss people off along the way for doing what your heart asks of you.
Do it anyway.
They are just trying to control you because they aren’t connected to their own heart and they don’t understand.
They have made decisions in their life based on fear.
Fear cannot overwhelm you when you listen to your heart.
How do you listen to your heart, you ask?
You can start right this moment.
Close your eyes.
Take a few grounding breaths in and out.
Allow the shoulders, mouth, eyes to soften.
Feel as if a sack of sand is settling in your body.
Feel the weight of your body connected to the earth and the seat supporting it.
Imagine:
A golden cord connecting up as far as you can go into the sky. (This is your connection to your soul star.)
A silver cord extending from your root center (from the base of your trunk/perineum) all the way into the center of the earth. (This is your connection to your earth star.)
Now place your hands on your heart.
Imagine your heart as a beautiful diamond.
With each breath, see your diamond growing brighter and brighter.
This is your light – she is always there.
A few intentional breaths and connecting in and she grows larger and brighter.
She is ready to be connected into at any moment.
Once you are connected to your heart, ask her your question.
If you have a particular question that is important in your life at that moment, ask her that.
And if nothing arises, simply ask her, “what do I need to know?”
Listen quietly.
You may receive the answer as an image, as words, as a knowing or feeling.
Trust the message that you receive.
Thank your heart for guiding you in this moment and as you return into the present moment, take a moment to quickly journal the message that you have received.
Then take inspired action based on that message.
Travel the world.
Live in at least one other place.
It will open your eyes in ways no book or movie ever can.
Lean into the discomfort of things that scare you a little.
Take calculated risks in your life – it’s how you grow.
Be open minded.
Know that you don’t have all of the answers all of the time.
Listen. Be curious. Hear perspectives from others and share yours.
Learn from others – but ultimately always use the filter:
“Is this true for me?”
That goes for your parents too.
All of what they have taught you is through their own lens of the world.
Through what they believe to keep them safe.
Some of what they teach you is also what keeps you small.
You don’t have to be small. You get to choose.
Take what they’ve taught you about life with a grain of salt.
They mean well. They want what is ‘best for you’ – but only you know what is best for you.
Connect in. Your heart knows.
Do the work – sooner than later – to release all the negative imprints your upbringing has made on your life.
You do not need to go through life carrying all your caregivers’ negative patterns.
There are plenty of therapists and programs out there to support you in doing this shadow work.
Hoffman Process is just one that I will recommend to you.
Do this work sooner than later – all the negative programming is already in you and the sooner you exorcise it from your being, the happier you’ll be in this lifetime.
Final words – come back to your heart, beautiful one.
The knowledge and answers are all inside of you.
Listen intently. Give her your full attention.
Connect into the wisdom every day.
She will always be there to guide you and help you create the most easeful path through your life.
You just need to listen – and trust.
Life is full of beauty, my dear one… and it has its hard moments too.
As the great Buddha espouses:
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Each and every day, choose your thoughts.
Today’s thoughts shape your tomorrow.
Choose wisely and enjoy this brilliant life to its fullest.